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| The Adoption Option Committeee's annual newsletter – Fall 1997 Contents
WHY AREN'T THERE MORE ADOPTIONS IN MINNESOTA?William L. Pierce In March of 1997 Dr. William Pierce spoke in Minneapolis at the invitation of the Center of the American Experiment as part of a series focusing on adoption issues. Mitch Pearlstein, Executive Director of the Center, introduced Dr. Pierce as "one of the true beacons in the field of adoption." He is President and CEO of the National Council For Adoption in Washington D.C. He is also Executive Director of the International Association of Voluntary Adoption Agencies andNon-governmental Organizations. Before joining the NCFA in 1980, Dr. Pierce served in senior positions with the Child Welfare League of America and the Day Care and Child Development Council of America. A native of Nebraska, Dr. Pierce is married and the father of three children. Dr. Pierce's talk focused on domestic unrelated adoptions. Adoption Option posed several questions to Dr. Pierce. Following are his responses. AOCI: Have social trends in the last ten years had anything to do with the changing number of adoptions?WP: Minnesota, like most states, was impacted by the nine social trends which have affected domestic, unrelated adoptions. Some of these trends are: legalization of abortion, mainstreaming of pregnant teens in public schools, disappearance of maternity homes, lessening of stigma if one is unwed and pregnant and the rights given to unwed fathers. In looking at the adoption option index which NCFA created to estimate the numbers of non-marital pregnancies that concluded in a non-relative adoption, ten years ago in 1986, Minnesota had 9.4 adoptions per 1000 pregnancies, coming in just under the national average of 10. But even more revealing are the numbers going back to 1969. Domestic unrelated adoptions in MN: 1969 - 2300 1975 - 874 1993 - 468 1996 - 539 1974 - 1073 1986 - 600 1995 - 453
One reason MN may be failing in "domestic," non-related adoptions is that you have the most "international" adoptions of any state in the U.S. AOCI: What is the NCFA's mission?WP: The mission of NCFA is very simple. We are striving to rebuild domestic, infant adoptions. We've met strong resistance, probably because we take clear and sometimes controversial stands on many topics. We have battled discrimination regarding race or ethnicity, whether domestic or international. We wanted to revive maternity homes and support the right of a woman to have the choice of a confidential, anonymous adoption. We wanted tax credits for every adopting family. We oppose retroactive opening of adoption records. We have, without apologizing, defended adoption as being good for adopted persons, birth parents and adoptive parents long before the Search Institute did their study which confirmed what common sense told us: that adoption works, it's not broken and it doesn't need to be fixed. We have spoken out against shoddy practices by questionable agencies and questionable adoption attorneys alike, while seeking to dialogue with and encourage good agencies and good attorneys. AOCI: You said in your talk that MN was unwilling, with few exceptions, to endorse the mission and agenda of the NCFA. How do you defend this statement?WP: MN seemed unwilling to accept our agenda but the state certainly bought or imported ideas from others including things such as: diverting from its long-time image as a state that cared about children without regard to race or ethnicity. At a critical point where MN could have passed a bill that would have been good, it did not. Instead it passed a racially separatist bill; the Minority Racial and Ethnic Heritage Act of 1983, which effectively exempts international adoptions. The reason that international adoptions were not covered was clear from a memo which we have that was sent to persons interested in improving MN laws relating to adoption and pregnancy counseling. I quote from the memo: "RW reported on the activity that had happened on this legislation since our last meeting. As a result of people testifying at hearings and meetings with the state counsel, a number of changes were made in the bill. Considerable discussion focused on the possible effect the legislation might have on foreign adoptions. After some discussion it was agreed that a subcommittee should meet with the house author in order to come up with some wording that would affect foreign adoptions." The goal was reached. Foreign adoptions were protected. As in 1974, MN agencies played a role in passing a law to protect self-interest; not adoptions. One of the responses we got from MN in 1980 when we announced our pro-adoption agenda was the following and I quote. "The only answer to the dilemma of adolescent pregnancy is prevention, as I see it, for any of the other solutions; abortion, adoption or single parenting carry many dissatisfactions and questionable consequences for birth parent and child." Putting adoption on a par with those other options is very troubling to me. In the debate over access to adoption records, discussion has given way to histrionic displays. This debate is always biased because people who want privacy can not and will not go public on TV, attend meetings or testify about why they want to maintain their anonymity. In 1992 when the Children's Home Society of Minnesota decided to oppose yet another attempt to erode privacy rights, Roger Toogood, then Executive Director, put out a nine point paper with this as Point #1: "This bill would strip away from the birth parent who made an adoption plan one of the most fundamental and important choices an individual has in a free society; which is the right to have control over how, when, where, what, how much and if information is given out about oneself." This is one of the exceptions I spoke of. AOCI: Has the MN Supreme Court provided reasonable recommendations to further the cause of adoption?WP: The MN Supreme Court has made several recommendations which may seem reasonable, but three of them are of grave concern and we believe would not be helpful in strengthening adoption. At least as presently drafted we believe that the putative fathers registry proposal should not be enacted before it is improved. The laws in Indiana, Oregon and other states should be studied further. What happens with this law will be an excellent test of MN's resolve to truly put its adoption program back on track. We've also commented at length about our concerns about "race based adoption policies" and we oppose them whether they are put forward by the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, the National Association of Black Social Workers or the North American Council on Adoptable Children or even the Supreme Court working group. Ownership of children by adult communities, be they African American, Native American or any other group based on racial or ethnic identity should be legally halted. It is time for MN to discard all of its laws that promote discrimination in adoption based on race or ethnicity. This includes the Minority Racial and Ethnic Heritage Act whose demise is required if the state wants to comply with the new federal law. This means repealing, not worsening, as is proposed, the MN Indian Family Preservation Act. As for court enforced visitation and communication agreements in unrelated adoptions, we oppose these for the same reasons given on the Uniform Adoption Act. AOCI: What do you think might be done to increase the number of adoptions in MN?WP: Possibly MN agencies and others need to beef up their budgets and purchase bigger ads in the yellow pages; and maybe a non-sectarian agency offering traditional adoption should be started in MN. There's nothing wrong with marketing if you have an idea which is sound. Appropriate financial incentives should be explored. Close-minded practices should be changed. We also need better data. As I looked through the various reports on adoption and foster care data, I noted the problems MN has had with data collection and reporting. Clearly a top priority should be targeted appropriations so that data is widely available. Good data is necessary not only for baseline planning but also for monitoring and evaluation. When primary prevention of non-marital pregnancies fails, and abstinence is the most "primary" preventive I know of, then the very best services need to be provided to those who are pregnant so that they will be empowered to made the best choices for themselves and their babies. At the federal level there have been numerous attempts to pass laws which would provide funding for residential options such as maternity homes or shelters; i.e. certificates clients could use to purchase services from licensed facilities. Money needs to be appropriated to rehabilitate or create new facilities. The $5,000 refundable tax credit idea was good and had four Minnesotans as the original co-sponsors; Tim Penny, Jim Oberstar, Jim Ramstad and Vin Webber. MN should enact its own version of those maternity services titles this year. MN should vote "NO" on court imposed visitation laws. Adoption should continue to be, as it has always been, a transfer of parental rights and responsibilities. Necessary interaction with the courts and the legal system should end once the transfer of parental rights and responsibilities has taken place. It should not be considered an adoption if aspects of foster care, visitation, required communication or other contact become part of the package. I feel MN is a critical state if we are going to turn numbers around, not just in MN but across the entire country. I hope this overview and our conversation will be the catalyst that is needed to turn those numbers around. Year at a glanceSPEAKERS PANEL
This past year our speakers panel was busy appearing at a number of Twin City schools including public, Catholic and alternative schools. We find that the students we speak to are always very curious about the topic of adoption and come away with a lot of valuable information. We're off to a good start for the 1997-98 year already. The birthmother who appears with our team works with the Children's Home Society and we will have a second birthmother as part of the team this year. Our adoptive parent includes her story and we've had an inquiry from an adopted person who has recently contacted her birthparent and is interested in sharing her story with groups. We speak to several classes every month. It's exciting to present this positive awareness of adoption to the students. EDUCATION/MARKETINGInformation, Support, Referral and Financial Aid Grants - that is the expanded information line under two Yellow Page listings; ADOPTION SERVICES and ABORTION ALTERNATIVES. Those words say it all so it was decided to expand not only our message, but our coverage area - now also in Rochester, St. Cloud and the Twin Ports of Duluth/Superior. Many of our callers say they found us in the Yellow Pages so we want to be found even more. Our Mother's Day message, To all Mothers Who Have Placed Their Children in Adoptive Homes: May you be reaffirmed in your decision and may you be recognized for your unselfish gift of life and love - has appeared in the St. Paul Pioneer Press, Suburban Sun Current (reaching 15 suburbs) and the Catholic Spirit newspapers. The message continues to be appreciated by birth mothers who have made this difficult but loving decision. FUND-RAISINGYou, our donors, have been exceedingly generous and supportive in helping us to achieve our goals. Our dedicated working board does a fantastic job of keeping up with the demands of this growing organization. With over 650 donor/friends of adoption, more than 35% of you gave contributions - a number that makes us extremely proud. WE SAY THANK YOU.....THANK YOU......THANK YOU! COUNSELING BROCHURESThe Adoption Option - Is It For You? Over 10,500 have been requested during the year both in English and Spanish. Many favorable comments make us feel that this counseling brochure continues to be an effective tool when someone is just beginning to consider an adoption plan. We have also mailed out over 75 posters which affirm adoption and are suitable for posting on bulletin boards, in meeting rooms, schools, offices or anywhere appropriate for the general public to see. These are free of charge and can be requested. FINANCIAL AID GRANTSThe financial aid grant program gives us that connection to the agencies and social workers who work with birth parents in making adoption decisions. We processed over 21 grant requests this past year and gave out over $8775.00. This unique statewide assistance program is almost the only one of its kind. But the money has often made the difference between a birth parent falling through the cracks or making progress in future planning for life, work and school. AOCI SPECIAL OFFERAfter hearing about a special conference scheduled for October 17 - 19 in Michigan, the 1997 Lifegiver's Festival, we offered scholarships for any birth mothers who have worked with local adoption agencies to attend this post-adoption conference. It is specifically designed for anyone who had planned an open adoption for a child. We were pleased to receive and grant several requests for scholarships to this worthwhile event. A birth mother's perspectiveI became pregnant at the age of fourteen. I was shocked! Although I knew that unprotected sex could lead to pregnancy, I never thought it would happen to me. I had the official test when I was about three months along, although I had known soon after conception that I was pregnant. I remember calling for the results of the test the day after I had it, hoping and praying that they were going to tell me the test was negative. I dialed the phone; a woman answered and I told her who I was and why I was calling. She said, "The results of your test are positive which means you are pregnant." I began to cry. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. The father of the baby was with me when I found out. He was also shocked and quickly suggested we have an abortion. I am from a strict Catholic family and knew that coming home with the news of a pregnancy at my age was going to severely disrupt my family. I had been raised not to believe in abortion, but now that I was forced to think about all of the consequences of carrying a baby to term, I was seriously considering it. It seemed like the easiest solution and the biggest benefit was that I wouldn't have to tell anyone. After deciding against abortion, the baby's father and I really did nothing. We were both in serious denial and tried to pretend that this would all go away. The only adults that knew about my pregnancy were the nurse and the social worker at my high school. They were very supportive and tried to encourage me to tell my family, but I just couldn't. I was paralyzed by the fear of what would happen. All I could think about was how mad my mother was going to be. I knew I was going to have to tell everyone eventually, but it was the beginning of December and the holidays as well as my birthday were coming and I wanted to wait until they were over. It was such a hard time; I was pretending to live my normal life on the outside and really felt like I was dying on the inside. The most difficult time was Christmas. I was with my whole family, celebrating like usual, but feeling so guilty because they didn't know about my pregnancy. Throughout the school year, I was volunteering at our church Sunday School and was in a room with toddlers. They were so cute and I loved spending time with them. One Sunday morning in the middle of January, a little boy came up to me and asked me to tie his shoe. He was just precious. I bent down to tie his shoe and at that moment, I began to realize what was happening. Up until that point, I was only concentrating on myself. I saw my problem as having to tell my mom I was pregnant. Now I began to see that I was becoming a mother myself and, whether I was ready or not, I needed to provide a good life for my child. I then decided that I was going to tell my mom that day. I met my mom after church to go home. I was very nervous, with palms sweating and heart pounding in my chest. I thought I was going to be sick. She knew that something was wrong as we got into the car. She said, "What is wrong with you?" That was my chance, so I told her, right there in the church parking lot. She was extremely upset and could barely drive us home. Rather than asking when I was due and finding out when I would like a baby shower, she said things like, "What are we going to do?" and "How could this have happened to us?" It was a scary time for both of us. My mom never knew I was dating the father of the baby, so that was another concern. He was significantly older than me and wasn't working or going to school. He couldn't be much emotional support to me and definitely couldn't help financially. My mom decided that day that she would find a place for me to live. I was devastated as I wanted to stay home; but she thought it would be better for me if I was with others who were in my same situation. She also thought it would be better if we didn't tell anyone. We were from a small community and she was afraid that I would be ostracized by friends and neighbors. The next day, when I came home from school she had found me a place to live. It was a home for unwed, pregnant women. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to leave my friends, family and school. But I didn't really have a choice; and two weeks later I moved in. The first two weeks at the shelter were awful. I spent my time either crying in my room or calling my mom begging her to take me home. I was sad and scared and felt completely alone. Slowly but surely, I began coming out of my room and talking to others who lived there. I quickly learned that there was a lot of support at the shelter. During that time I began working with a social worker from an adoption agency. Her job was to help me figure out if adoption or parenting would be in the best interest of my child and myself. The answer seemed obvious; of course, I wasn't ready to parent. I had three years of high school left and the father of the baby had left me. I had no money, no place to live and no idea of how to take care of a child. However, when you love something as much as I loved my unborn baby, it becomes much more complicated. I could not imagine placing him for adoption and not seeing him for the rest of my life. I felt like my heart was being torn out of my body and stomped on every time I thought about it. My social worker helped me look at my situation realistically and challenged me to think about how I would survive if I would parent. I made lists of why parenting was a good choice and why it wasn't. I did the same with adoption. I changed my mind daily. I had people who were supportive, but I also heard things like, "I can't believe you're going to give your baby away." Those comments increased the enormous guilt I already felt. Everybody in my family wanted me to make an adoption plan. They would say, "Gloria, don't throw your life away," and "There's no way you could parent; you're too young." Although these comments sound supportive, they were loaded with guilt, anger, sadness and shame. The one person who helped the most was my sister. She always treated me with dignity and never imposed her views on me. I am sure she wanted adoption also, but she had a tremendous amount of respect for the decision I had to make. After making lists, thinking, crying and crying some more, I realized that all of the reasons I wanted to parent were really for me and that choosing adoption was what was best for my child. It was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make. It meant admitting that I wasn't capable of taking care of my own flesh and blood the way I wanted to. I had to begin dealing with the loss of motherhood and most importantly, the loss of my son. On July 9, 1986, I delivered a baby boy, Joseph Allen. The delivery was easy and fast which I think was a gift from God, because the emotional pain I was to encounter was more than I thought I could endure. When Joseph was born, they wiped him off and immediately put him on my chest. What a miracle!! He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen and the bond between us was like no other. This was greater than anything I had ever experienced; bringing another human into the world is awesome; too phenomenal to describe. At that moment I realized how much I really did love him; a kind of love I didn't know I was capable of feeling. Now the decision-making started all over. I had no idea it was going to be that hard. In the hospital I just didn't believe I could leave him there, knowing there was a good chance I would never see him again. Not knowing who he was going to be was very difficult. I spent almost the entire time in the hospital with him. We had lots of visitors and the time flew by. I would lay him on my chest and watch him sleep. He was beautiful, happy and content. It was the most precious, intimate time of my life. Sometimes, when I think about it, I can still feel him laying there. Suddenly it was time to leave the hospital. My counselor from Mary's Shelter was coming to pick me up and I knew it was time to say "good-bye." I had written a letter to the adoptive parents and to my son, explaining why this had happened. I wanted him to know that I never rejected him and that I did want him and loved him very much, but I knew that he deserved more than I could give him. I spent time with Joseph in the morning of our last day together and took lots of pictures. He was so cute!! When my counselor came, I was holding him, looking at him, explaining to him through my tears why he wasn't coming home with me and why he was going to a new family. I knew he couldn't understand me but I wanted him to hear my voice to that he would know how much I truly loved him. I put him in his bassinet, wrapped his blanket around him, gave him lots of kisses and walked him down the hall. I was crying, my counselor was crying and the nurses were crying. It was the hardest day of my life. I do not know Joseph's family; I didn't have the opportunity to choose them. I am sure they are wonderful people, but I wonder a lot about who they are. I wonder how he is doing, what he knows about me, what he looks like, if he has a sense of humor, if he's musical, if he enjoys sports and what he thinks about being adopted. I have accomplished many things in my life since Joseph was born and know that even though it was the most difficult thing I have ever been through, it was the best decision I ever made. 1997 Adoption Legislation RecapGina Washington
Gina Washington has recently been hired by the Children's Home Society of Minnesota as a Coordinator of Advocacy Services. She monitors the legislature and seeks more information on issues directly impacting children and families. Gina has been invited to submit a recap of the Adoption/Child Placement Legislation enacted during the past Minnesota legislative session. A Minnesota native and graduate of the U of MN Law School, Gina has worked previously for Lutheran Social Services and the MN Disability Law Center. · Legislation was passed to make the adoption process faster: Private child placing agencies will be reimbursed for the full cost of providing adoption services for special needs children and will allow the Commissioner of Human Services to act directly with licensed child placing agencies. · The MN Department of Health will establish a Father's Registry to allow putative fathers to register at any time after conception of a child until 30 days after birth. The registry offers unwed fathers protection and promotes permanency for children and families by prescribing a specific time period. · Appropriation of $1.75 million in needs-based financial assistance for relatives who provide permanent homes for children. Family members will also have an easier time adopting children removed from their homes: reinforces a time limit of allowing children to stay in foster case no more than a year before a permanent decision about them is made; lifts the preference for reuniting families in cases where that is not in the child's best interest: allows private individuals (not just child protection workers) to file protection petitions. · Family preservation efforts will be funded at $17.8 million to replace lost federal funds. · Legislation passed to make the Communication and Contract Agreement legally binding instruments. Previously these were sets of expectations between adoptive parents and birth parents. Now they are legally binding rather than merely a set of expectations. This means that courts will now play an authorization and possibly an enforcement role along with families in the Communication and Contract Agreement process. · Open Birth Records (Senate File 727) did not become law. It would have retroactively opened birth records to adopted persons, regardless of whether birth parents signed an affidavit of consent expressing their affirmative consent to release these records. It did not make it out of the budget division, and thus did not make it to either chamber for a vote in the 1997 Session. The authors have indicated it will likely be resurrected next year. You may request a copy of Gina's full report on the Legislative Session including Welfare Reform by calling our office at 944-0866. Studies supporting the adoption option
One of the nation's best funded programs for disadvantaged teen mothers has not improved their chances of becoming self-sufficient, according to a rigorous study released on July 2, 1997. The New Chance study found that teenagers enrolled in the program were no more likely to find a job, leave welfare or avoid having another child than young mothers who had not received its intensive services. Three and one-half years after entering the program: 75% still received public assistance 28% were working 3/4 had become pregnant again The program has enrolled 4500 participants over the past 8 years and spent $3 million, mostly from public funding. This program was a disappointment because it was considered among the most "elaborate and comprehensive of its kind." It operated in 12 cities, enrolled 4500 participants at a cost of $9,000 per mother, "showering" them with education and training, child care, parenting classes, health care and counseling. According to Rebecca Maynard, professor of education and policy at the University of Pennsylvania, no teen parent program has had real success except those that have clear values imbedded in them; that say it is not okay to be a teen mother and draw welfare and that you need to take charge of your life. Study results released by: Manpower Research and Demonstration Corp.(New York based research org. Star Tribune 7/2/97) The Search Institute, a non-profit organization in Minneapolis, MN that specializes in "practical research benefiting children and youth," has finished a scientific study on how adopted youth navigate through adolescence. The sample of over 2000 participants was funded at a cost of $1 million by the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services and the National Institute of Mental Health. This study explores their psychological health (PH), and the factors that promote or interfere with PH. Among this study, rich with new information, is the following information: 1) Identity: Overall, adoption does not typically complicate the period of adolescence. 2) Attachment: Extremely high rates of strong attachment to adoptive parents are found (84% are strongly attached to one or both parents,) as well as parent to child (95%) 3) Family: One of the prominent characteristics of adopted families is their stability. Only 11% of adolescents report divorce or separation, as compared to 28% in a national sample of their counterparts. 4) Mental Health: Most of the adopted adolescents in this study demonstrate successful adjustment at a rate that rivals adolescents in general. Running counter to conventional portrayals, adopted adolescents are slightly healthier than a comparison sample of public school adolescents. 5) Trans-racial Adoption: On 4 different measures of PH, trans-racially adopted adolescents do as well as their white counterparts in same-race families. Ultimately, the bottom line is that most adopted children and teenagers succeed. The researchers conclude with this statement, "Though we find that adopted adolescents tend to do as well as adolescents in general, this is not the best standard for evaluating adoption. A more appropriate standard is to compare each adopted child to what life could have been like had she or he not been adopted. And we find that adoption, even when it occurs after infancy is almost always better than the alternative." A complete report of Growing Up Adopted: A Portrait of Adolescents and Their Families is available by calling 1-800-888-7828, or a condensed version can be obtained by calling our office at 612 / 944-0866. "Teens close to parents less prone to problems," is a headline from The Washington Times, 9/21/97. Data from a national survey of 1200 U.S. teens, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, has found that when adolescents feel connected to their parents and schools they are less likely to suffer emotional distress, consider suicide, engage in violence, smoke, drink, use drugs or have early sex. The study's lead author, Dr. Michael Resnick, Professor of Pediatric and Adolescent Health at the U of MN, stated that adolescents "can be very skillful in persuading parents that we are irrelevant in their lives." But "this study shows just the opposite." Familial factors found to be significantly related to a reduction in risky behaviors were parental expectations for scholastic achievement and the presence of connected, caring parents. They also determined that religion and prayer helped protect some against risky behavior. What is adoption?Adoption is like planting a seed in a garden. Someone else produces the seed and the adoptive parents, as gardeners, nurture it. They may till the soil, add fertilizer and water, weed the plot and keep predators away. They may protect the seedling from hard freezes and from too much heat. Those who choose to garden do so because they enjoy the process, (though it can be challenging) taking pride in the fruits of their labor. Gardeners who work hard most often grow fine plants, though whether that plant is a rose or a rutabaga has nothing to do with how well they gardened, but is instead a function of what kind of seed was planted. What's more, it isn't uncommon for gardeners to find that the plant they've nurtured is quite different from the one they expected. Those leaves that looked something like daisies might turn out to be carrots, the blooms on the mum may be pink instead of yellow. To the one who gardens for the love of it, though, these surprises are rarely disappointments - just interestingly unexpected outcomes. From: Launching a Baby's Adoption by Patricia Irwin Johnston, Perspectives Press, P. O. Box 90318, Indianapolis, IN 46290-0318 (317) 872-3055 President's messageMary Lou Stewart, Co-President
Albert Einstein was cautioned about a physics exam he was planning to give because it contained the same questions as the previous year. His reply was, "Yes, but the answers are different this year." That is the message we want to convey to policy makers, social workers, health care professionals, agencies, judges, the public at large and finally, teenagers. It is difficult because single parenting is the choice of the day and in fact, has been for many years. The once altruistic option of adoption is no longer considered by most. This was so evident when our lending library sent a positive adoption video to a high school health class which included 5 or 6 pregnant teens; the hostility toward adoption was so high that the video could not be shown. So much for choice. Our newsletter will bring you up to date on what's been happening in Minnesota. Although there has been no significant rise in unrelated domestic adoptions, 1997 was a good year in many ways. Why? We are 'on-line', with the renewed hope of reaching our constituency, information and education continue to be requested and sent, financial aid grants help birth parents begin anew and future plans for AOCI include producing a video. Perhaps no one thing can better explain the impact AOCI is actually making than this; a true story that began 2-1/2 years ago when our office received a phone request for information on adoption from a young couple in California. Fast forward to a few months ago; a divorced woman, the mother of 3 young children, experiencing an unplanned pregnancy felt her only choice was abortion. She looked in the Yellow Pages and saw a classification called 'Abortion Alternatives', with Adoption Option Committee at the beginning of the list. She moved on to Abortion Providers and chose what she thought was an abortion clinic. She actually made a mistake in the location and stopped at a Women's Center which is located across the street. She received information that helped her to think. While there she also picked up a small card with the name and phone number of a young couple wanting to adopt. She slipped the card into her pocket, went home and made the decision to consider adoption. Upon arriving at an agency that facilitates adoption, she was surprised to find in the book containing letters from people who wish to adopt, a 'Dear Birth mother' letter from the couple whose card she had slipped into her pocket. Well, you have probably guessed the end of our little story. A courageous woman places her daughter with a couple who are ecstatic to have the opportunity to be parents. We were also privileged to participate in this adoption by providing a financial aid grant to the birth mother who is already moving forward with her life. My Jewish friends have a wonderful Hebrew word for this – "b'shert" – which means "planned by God." Thank you, good friends, for supporting the work of AOCI.
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