Choosing the family of your dreams for your baby
In recent years, adoption has changed dramatically. No longer is it a world of closed files, closed doors and closed minds. In the past, a faceless agency would choose the "right" parents for your child, and birth parents rarely knew who would be shaping their child's future. Today, your loving decision to secure a better future for your child extends to choosing her adoptive parents, the people who will give shape and meaning to her life. Today, adoption gives you the opportunity to make your love known to your child throughout her life. While you may not be there to guide her, you will certainly set the course she will travel.

Choosing your son or daughter's adoptive parents will not be easy. An important first step is realizing that the decisions you make will affect your child forever. Take your time and live with that thought. Let it guide you.

Identifying the factors on which to base your decision is also necessary. Here are some adoptive parent factors you may want to consider. You'll very likely have some of your own, not on this list, that are very personal to you.

And, of course, the "X Factor": that sense of connectedness and well-being you feel when you meet the right adoptive parents.

We encourage you to make a list of what's important to you in your search for the shapers of your child's future. Play an active role. Ask questions. Dig below the surface. Be comfortable in your decision.

Your choice will reflect your love always.


Here are some representative adoptive families:

Marsha & Tony
Tony is easy-going, sincere and loving. He's a computer engineer who enjoys swimming and reading. He's 34 years old and of German and Polish descent. Marsha is affectionate, bubbly, and loves to laugh. She's a 33-year-old Mexican and Dutch woman. She loves sewing, quilting, writing, and cooking. Both are Catholic. Marsha and Tony have two daughters via adoption and hope to add two more children to their family. They live in a three-bedroom rambler with a large backyard in a quiet suburban neighborhood. It's full of children of all ages. Parks, walking trails, and bike paths are nearby, as is an excellent elementary school. They're open to meeting with birth parents in order to make arrangements that all parties to the adoption feel comfortable with.

Dave & Kathy
Dave and Kathy, both 40, live in a large home in a northern suburb of Minneapolis. Dave is an ad agency film and video producer and Kathy is a full-time mom. He enjoys fishing, woodworking, gardening and Boy Scouts while Kathy likes to read, sew and cook in her spare time. The family is Catholic. Dave is Polish and Kathy is of northern European descent. They have two boys. One, a teenager, is from Dave's previous marriage. They also have an adopted 22-month-old and are currently working on an international adoption. Their children enjoy their newer neighborhood - close to schools, parks and bike trails, and full of children. Dave and Kathy have a very open relationship with their son's birth mother through meetings, videos and pictures.

Andrea & Carl
Carl, 36, is a technical writer and is English and Swedish. He likes to read, write and surf the Internet. Andrea, who's French, German and African-American, is 33. She's a full-time mom who enjoys crafts, sewing and cooking in her spare time. They're both Lutheran. Carl and Andrea have an adopted three-year-old African American daughter. They're thinking about adding to the family through adoption in the future. They live in a busy urban community in a family-oriented neighborhood with a lovely park nearby. They have an open relationship with the birth mother. They meet and exchange letters and pictures.

Mike & Leah
Mike and Leah are a Protestant couple and are both in their 30's. He likes golf and basketball. She enjoys reading and gardening. Mike is Scottish, English and Norwegian and Leah is German and Italian. Leah is a full-time mom and Mike is a pharmaceutical salesperson. Their family lives in a small rural township on a two-acre wooded lot. Mike and Leah have two adopted sons, three years apart in age. Their older son was placed with them by friends who had an unplanned third child. The two couples have a totally open relationship and socialize approximately once a month. They have visitation with their younger son's birth mother approximately four times a year and send her letters and pictures throughout the year. The birth father has visitation once a year.