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CHOOSING THE BEST
A SAFE PLACE FOR NEWBORNS
PUBLIC EDUCATION CAMPAIGN
WHY OUR GRANT PROGRAM WORKS
GRANT REPORT
TRANSFORMING NATIONAL PRIORITIES
INFANT AWARENESS PROGRAM
HOMELESSNESS AND PREGNANCY
SCHOOL OUTREACH
INVITRO FERTILIZATION
ARCHIVED NEWSLETTERS
CHOOSING THE BEST
When I was 18, I found out I was pregnant. The father was my boyfriend, Delfino, whom I had been dating for two years.We found out we were going to have a son and we were both very excited.
For the first six months of my pregnancy things went pretty well. Delfino and I began to plan for our future as parents. However, in the middle of January Delfino got in trouble with the police. He was arrested and jailed throughout my whole pregnancy.That changed everything. A week after the arrest, the unthinkable happened. My father passed away.He was 78 years old and had suffered from diabetes and congestive heart failure. I remember visiting him two days before he passed away; he couldn’t talk or move.
After my father’s death I began to consider adoption. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to take care of my son. My mother was also not doing very well emotionally or physically. She suffered from anxiety and depression. In March after undergoing surgery due to a fall,my mother went into cardiac arrest and passed away.Now I was completely alone. In a matter of three months I had lost the love of my life, my father and my mother.
Now I was certain that I would not be able to parent my son. After much thought and consideration, and after working with the Children’s Home Society, I decided to meet a prospective adoptive couple. Mary and Joe had met in Mexico. Mary was from Canada and Joe grew up close to where I did.The day I met them, they reminded me so much of Delfino and me. Mary is very talkative (like me) and Joe is an observer (much like Delfino). However, unlike Delfino and me, they were well established. After meeting them, I felt that they would make excellent parents for my son.
On April 29th, 2002, I gave birth to Carlos John (now named John Carlos.) He is “Johnnie” to his new family. I was the happiest I have ever been when I gave birth.
That turned to sadness two days later when I left the hospital without my son. Johnnie went into foster care because Delfino had put his name on the Birth Father Registry and was opposing the adoption. Delfino later decided to consent to the adoption. Johnnie was in foster care until August. His adoption was finalized in December.
Now I see Johnnie once a year and receive letters and pictures twice a year. He just turned two and we all met at Como Zoo. I love seeing my son and it makes me very happy to see how happy he is.
I love Johnnie more than anything in the world, but I do not regret my decision. I did what I thought was the best for him at a very difficult time in my life. I believe that I am a stronger person for having experienced what I did in my life.
Currently I am attending college and I am looking forward to a career in social work.
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A SAFE PLACE FOR NEWBORNS
AOCI Board Members recently met with Laure Krupp, Executive Director of Safe Place for Newborns, to discuss our mutual interest in the health, well-being and best interest of children. The organization provides a mother, who might otherwise abandon her newborn, with a lifesaving option. She may bring her unharmed newborn, up to 3 days old, to any hospital in the state of Minnesota — anonymously and free from fear of prosecution.
The hospital will provide any needed medical care. They will contact the Department of Social Services, who will assume custody of the baby and follow normal child abandonment procedures. These procedures vary by county, but most generally the (abandoned) baby is placed in a temporary foster home. There is a waiting period, again varying by county, during which time a parent could reclaim the child. After a waiting period, the baby is eligible for adoption.
Safe Place for Newborns began with a group of parishioners from the Cathedral of St. Paul. With the encouragement of Archbishop Harry J. Flynn and the support of Dakota County Attorney James C. Backstrom, nationally recognized for his pioneering crime prevention programs, the program was launched in Dakota County, Minnesota on January 6, 2000. Attorney Mike Hatch lent his support to SPN as well. In April 2000, SPN became Minnesota law.
“Safe Place for Newborns exists to save the lives of newborn babies in danger of abandonment”. You may contact Laure at 612.317.2895 and access their web site at: www.safeplacefornewborns.com.
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PUBLIC EDUCATION CAMPAIGN: A CAMPAIGN PROMOTING ADOPTION
Why do so few - about 1 percent – of the American women facing an unplanned pregnancy make an adoption plan? Obviously, many factors go into such a lifechanging decision. However, ignorance about adoption should not be one of them.
Making sure young women understand adoption as a valid, loving choice is the goal of a new initiative begun under the umbrella of the AOCI. The initiative is a strategic public education program, using sophisticated marketing and public relations techniques to reach women with positive messages about adoption.
The project is still in the early development stage. It was brought forward to AOCI by adoptive mother and public relations practitioner Jenny Eldredge of Minneapolis. Eldredge is a new AOCI board member.
While countless people work every day to help young women understand adoption, no widespread public education campaign exists to shape opinions about adoption in the minds of young woman or the people who influence them.
There are general messages about adoption, such as a new campaign produced by the National Council For Adoption. However, that campaign is not focused specifically toward young woman and, as a public service announcement, it relies on the generosity of media outlets for placement.
The new AOCI initiative has received seed money from Caritas, a ministry out of the Cathedral of St. Paul. It also has the support of the Archdiocese of Saint Paul and Minneapolis.The next steps include finding an advertising agency to take on creative design of the campaign as a pro bono project, as well as fundraising to secure funding to cover the costs of advertising.
The goals are high, but the need is great.And AOCI believes that the many people whose lives are touched by adoption will come to the support of this project. We’ll keep you posted as the project takes shape. For more information, please contact Jenny Eldredge at 612.866.1255.
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WHY OUR GRANT PROGRAM WORKS
A recent grant involved a birth father who registered with the state and subsequently contested the placement. This forced the birth mother to take the baby out of foster care, where it had been for 6 weeks, and parent the baby for 7 weeks until he had a change of heart and consented to the adoption. This from the social worker, “During this entire period, [the birth mother] remained strong and focused on what she wanted for her baby. I have only praise and admiration for [her] strength and focus on providing the very best for her baby. It would be very helpful for [her] future if a grant could be provided to assist with her college costs.”
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GRANT REPORT
At the end of our fiscal year in March 2004, we had given out 29 grants for a total of $8864.75.These grants were received by 27 birth mothers and 2 birth fathers. The ages of the recipients ranged from 14 to 35, with the largest number falling in the 18 to 20 year old range. The monies went mostly to rent(9) and medical expenses(9), followed by education(5), living expenses(2), medical/living expenses(1), and the final three going toward specific requests.
There continues to be a need for this kind of financial help. Often a few hundred dollars can make a huge difference for a birth mother as she makes an adoption decision. Thanks to our generous donors, we feel fortunate in being able to fill the void in this unique niche.
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TRANSFORMING NATIONAL PRIORITIES
“We still have so far to go. Every 36 seconds, a child is neglected or abused; every 41 seconds, a baby is born into poverty; every 59 seconds, a baby is born without health insurance; every minute a baby is born to a teen mother and every 3 hours a child is killed by gunfire. Those facts are not acts of God but a result of our moral and economic choices as a society. We can and must change them. But it will require a powerful transforming movement to change national values and priorities.”
“We understand that a powerful transformation of society will not occur through the adoption option alone, but it will go a long way toward promoting happy, healthy children living in dependable, stable, secure homes. AOCI seeks to be part of that endeavor.“
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INFANT AWARENESS PROGRAM
The Infant Adoption Awareness Training Program of the National Council for Adoption sponsored three-day Adoption Specialist training programs throughout the U.S. to educate service providers who work with birth parents in crisis pregnancy situations. The purpose of the training was to help service providers gain knowledge and develop skills to ensure that birth parents have the necessary information to make a fully informed decision about making an adoption plan.
The Infant Adoption Awareness brochure describes the three-day training as a program designed to provide in-depth information about adoption, training in counseling techniques, and other topics including:
• the effects of adoption on pregnant women and their children in the context of their social, developmental and personal needs
• current state and federal laws related to adoption, placement decisions and procedures
• current practices and policies in adoption, including adoptions handled by agencies and attorneys
• ways to assess the client’s interest in adoption
• techniques for providing information and support to the client so that she can make an informed decision about her future and the future of her child
The training taught service providers to discuss the permanency options – raising the child or making an adoption plan – with birth parents and to be supportive of their decision while not directing the outcome. Information in the training was presented by the regional Infant Adoption Master Trainers, videos and speakers including an attorney who reviewed the local adoption laws. Discussions included topics of the three sources of problems: humane and inhumane actions, self-betrayal, qualities of relationships and legal aspects of adoption. Funding for the training was through a grant from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
Kathryn is a senior social worker with Hennepin County Social Services and AOCI board member.
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HOMELESSNESS AND PREGNANCY
One of the challenging telephone calls a pregnancy help center receives is one in which a pregnant woman contacts the center in need of housing for herself and her unborn baby. At Metro Women’s Center, a pregnancy help center in Crystal MN, over 50 such calls have been received over the last eight months. Center director, Colleen Tronson, an AOCI board member, says, “It is a tragedy in this state that there are only 2 or 3 maternity homes which meet the needs of a woman whose presenting problem is homelessness due to a pregnancy. In Minnesota there are numerous homes and programs for women who are domestically abused, chemically dependent, or who suffer with mental or emotional issues. However; if a woman’s only problem is that she is pregnant and has been asked to leave her home by a boyfriend, spouse or family member because of that pregnancy, she is often without a resource to meet her need.” In an effort to meet this critical housing need, Metro Women’s Center has been working with individuals, businesses and communities of faith to establish the “Amazing Grace Maternity Home.” This home will house five pregnant women (ages 18 to 23) as well as a live-in housemother.The home will most likely be located in the northern part of the Twin Cities and will need to be near public transportation and have ample parking available. During their stay in the home, women will go through a decision-making process regarding future plans for themselves and their babies.They will learn about all options for managing their pregnancy including: marriage to the baby’s father, adoption or single parenting. Each woman will be offered opportunities to learn important life skills such as: living with a budget, developing career goals, and learning to maintain healthy relationships. If a woman does not have a high school diploma or GED equivalent, pursuing that educational goal will be a priority. Metro Women’s Center has a goal of raising $200,000 towards starting this home over the next 2 years. As of September 2004, $35,000 has been raised for the home. If you know of land or an already existing home that would be available as a starting point for this project please contact Colleen at 763.533.8642. If you are interested in contributing to the project financially, your tax-deductible gift can be sent to Metro Women’s Center, 6418 Bass Lake Road, Crystal, MN 55428, marked “Maternity Home Fund.”
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SCHOOL OUTREACH
AOCI continued, with its heart felt messages, to visit high school classrooms throughout the Twin Cities metro area. Our AOCI High School Outreach Adoption Team made presentations to 360 students at 18 high schools, middle schools or alternative schools. During the second semester, the majority of schools visited in the fall were repeated, due to positive reactions from juniors and seniors.They were given the opportunity to hear true and personal accounts of adoption and ask questions and receive honest answers.
Teachers and students alike commented that AOCI continues to have one of the most anticipated presentations of the year. Every visit prompted thank you notes from the students and their personal reflections on how adoption has affected their lives, how their views have been affected by what was shared and how they would consider it in their decision making process should unplanned pregnancy arise in their own life or one of their peers. This is what we hope to accomplish when giving our positive adoption presentations to the high schools.
Partnering with Colleen Tronson for the 2003-2004 school year has been a tremendously rewarding experience, and one of learning and encouragement for me. The positive image of adoption has been a seed planted and will hopefully continue on as myths are dispelled and the adoption option is more openly discussed.
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INVITRO FERTILIZATION: WHAT TO DO WITH THE LEFTOVERS
With the current interest in invitro-fertilization, there is understandable concern for “left-over” embryos being kept frozen in storage facilities.Two organizations are providing a way they can be utilized. One of them, Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program (www.snowflakes.org) is providing a loving, life-saving solution for genetic parents, adoptive couples and their children. Another such agency is the National Embryo Donation Center (www.embryodonation.org) which is endorsed by the Christian Medical Association.
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ARCHIVED NEWSLETTERS
Fall 2004: Download the PDF version (1.02mb)
Fall 2001: Download the PDF version (856k)
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